19 Clues To Call It A Night For Women

on April 25th, 2001

1.You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2.You`ve just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.
3.You suddenly decide you want to kick someone`s ass.
4. In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
5.You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.
6.You start crying.
7.There are less than three hours before you`re due to start work.
8.You`ve found a deeper side to the office nerd.
9.The man you`re flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.
10.The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
11.You`ve forgotten where you live.
12.You`ve started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes you`ve smoked, because (as you`ve mentioned like 10 times by now) you only smoke when you drink.
13.You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that`s just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.
14.You think you`re in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza. 15.You start every conversation with a booming, "Don`t take this the wrong way but..."
16.You fail to notice that the toilet lid`s down when you sit on it.
17.Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18 .You`re tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).
19.You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to.

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