How To Know If You're A Redneck Jedi

on April 29th, 2005

1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

2. You have used your light saber to open and cook a can of pork and beans.

3. You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.

4. At least one wing of your X-Wing fighter is primer-colored.

5. There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

6. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

7. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok.

8. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

9. You think that the Stormtrooper Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.

10. A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.

11. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not The Force.

12. Your master has said, ''My finger you will pull..hmmm?''

13. You have had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

14. You have lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.

15. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

16. Wookies are offended by your B.O.

17. You have used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

18. You have used The Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

19. You have used a light saber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.

20. Your father told you, ''Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot.''

21. You've had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to light a bar-b-que.

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