Bran Flakes

on December 28th, 2009

The couple  were 85 years old and had been married for sixty  years. Though they were far from rich,  they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though  not young, they were both in very good health,  largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy  foods and exercise for the last decade.
One  day, their good health didn't help when they  went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed,  sending them off to Heaven.

They  reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter  escorted them inside.  He took them to a  beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine  silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a  waterfall in the master bath.  A maid could  be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the  closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he  said, 'Welcome to Heaven.  This will be your home now.'

The  old man asked Peter how much all this was going  to cost.  'Why, nothing,' Peter replied,  'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
The old man looked out the window and right  there he saw a championship golf course, finer  and more beautiful than any ever built on  Earth..
'What  are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man
'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied.  'You can play for free, every  day.'

Next  they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish  buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid  out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man.  This is Heaven, it is all free for you to  enjoy.'
The old man looked around and  glanced nervously at his wife.
'Well, where  are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and  the decaffeinated tea?,' he  asked.
That's  the best part,' St. Peter replied.  'You  can eat and drink as much as you like of  whatever you like and you will never get fat or  sick.  This is Heaven!'

The  old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure  or...'
'Never  again.  All you do here is enjoy  yourself.'

The  old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and  your fucking Bran Flakes.  We could have  been here ten years ago!'

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