How To Beat A Ticket.

on September 12th, 2001

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th Drunk Driving conviction.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes officer. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called for armed backup. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the inspector approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Inspector: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Inspector: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver owned the car.
Inspector: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Inspector: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Inspector: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunkt.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

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