17 Things The Perfect Girlfriend Would Say:

on May 10th, 2002

1. I'll swallow it all - I love the taste.

2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

3. I'm bored. Let's shave my fanny.

4. Oh come on, what do you say we get a good porn film, a case of beer and have my best friend over for a threesome.

5. If I don't get to blow you soon I'll kill myself!

6. I know it's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?

7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.

8. I'd rather watch you and your mates watch sport and serve the beers to you than go shopping.

9. Let's subscribe to the porn channels.

10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girl friend?

11. Let's go shopping so you can look at the women's asses.

12. I love it when you play golf on Saturday - I just wish you had time to play on Sunday too!

13. Darling, our new neighbor's daughter is sun bathing again - come see!

14. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

15. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself some new gadgets.

16. That was a great fart! Do another one.

17. I signed up for Yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head.

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