Bush`s Acceptance Speech (first Draft).

on January 23rd, 2001

My fellow Americans, it`s about fucking time. All you liberals can just kiss my big, white Texas ass if you think I`m gonna spew a boatload of bipartisan bullshit. Let`s set the record straight here. I won, dammit. Hell, I won FOUR OR FIVE TIMES, you stupid bastards. We got the Presidency, we got Congress, and by the end of four years we`ll have even more of the Supreme Court. The Republicans are here, and we`re gonna show you how it`s done.

Ya`ll want me to reach across party lines now? How `bout I reach across and bitch-slap all your sorry-liberal-monkey- asses? How`dya like that? Don`t get me wrong, here. The sense of satisfaction I`m feeling right now isn`t that I`ve won - it`s that I won`t have to listen to Al Gore bitch and moan about "letting every vote count". The only reason this went as far as it did is because you Democrats have a playground crybaby as your poster-boy, and I for one am glad I won`t have to see him on TV anymore. This might sound snippy, Mr. Gore, but as we used to say in the sandlot...LOSERS WALK!!!

As I said in my campaign, I promised to be a president who focuses on education. My first task as President will be to start an educational program for all you Florida-idiots who can`t tell your elbow from your asshole or how to poke a stylus through the right hole. I don`t get you liberal Democrats: when we`re talking about Bill Clinton and some office whore, you say that lack of penetration doesn`t count; but when it comes to ballots, lack of penetration DOES count. You want a solution to this problem? Take some Viagra, you old farts, and finish what you started next election. Until then, I want to ask you just one question: "Who`s yer daddy???"

And so I humbly accept the office of President of these United States.
Thank you.

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