Yea, I Can Handle This.

on March 22nd, 2001

One day in the future, Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies.

He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don`t know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I`ll tell you what I`m going to do. I`ve got a couple folks here who weren`t quite as bad as you. I`ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I`ll even let you decide who leaves."

Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Bill said. "I don`t think so. I`m not a good swimmer and I don`t think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I`ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Bill.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Clinton saw Jesse Jackson, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Clinton took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you`re free to go."

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