When the walls come tumbling down.

March 20, 2017

As we go through life we sometimes put up walls. Invisible walls to hide a portion of our psyche from others, walls to keep us from dialogue with others, walls to protect us from rejection, and sometimes walls to protect us from fears we may have.

Individuals attempting to circumvent laws and the authorities, for whatever reason, put up invisible walls so that few know of their wrong doings as possible. Sometimes, they make a mistake and that wall comes crumbling down. Their life can change for the negative when that happens.

People who have a fear of social settings can put up their invisible wall, appear apprehensive and or hard to get along with; but that front keeps them in their safe zone. When they figure out how to allow that wall to come down, their quality of life can improve; and they can actually find that tasks at work are easier because others are no longer fearful to interact with them.

I know a man very well in his early fifties, and he's always had a fear of rejection. He's had his invisible wall up his entire adult life and rarely shares his time with females. He also complains that he's always wanted a family, but women aren't interested in him. He's a super nice guy, but he hangs his head, looks down, and avoids any notion of a relationship. It's too bad, one life to live, and I don't think he'll ever get the help he needs to let that wall come crumbling down, even one brick at a time.

Some have a wall up to hide part of their psyche so that others will not see a side of them which they may find objectionable. One such young man I had doing some work for me several years ago was a closet racist. Deep inside he was angry. When he would get comfortable, he would cut lose with his true feelings. I ran across a website and one of the posters rhetoric sure seemed like Déjà vu. I made a comment that it could be him, and he said it was. I finally had to cut ties with him. I got a call one day for an employment reference for him, I knew the couple owning the company; and I had to tell them of his hard core racist views. I never did find out why he was so bitter on the inside. I wish he could have come face to face with his racist views, found a way to change, and lowered his wall. As long as he holds this bitter hate, others will eventually see it, and many good jobs could pass him by. Our reputations do follow us. Our co-workers talk, and many employers post completed applications prior to a final decision for current staff to clue them in on any potential negative past.

Think about what wall or walls you may have up; and think about rather it's hindering your quality of life. If it is, maybe it could be a life goal for you to work on and overcome. I've had various goals in my life to overcome, with the hardest ones being the invisible walls which hold us back. It's almost always a work in progress that will continue your whole life.

41 Comments
  • luvthick March 20, 2017

    Profound.

    +5 -5
    • Cory H. March 20, 2017

      @luvthick , Thank you. I agree.

      +2 -4
  • maddog123 March 20, 2017

    Hmm???

    Walls???

    Sounded like long winded rant I used to pull on here!!!

    Now trumps wall I understood and understand!!!!

    But this crazyshit wall?????

    It fucking makes my balls fucing itch!!!!!!!!

    Yeah boy bring that goddam cs wall down!!!!

    +2 -9
    • happyjack March 20, 2017

      @maddog123 Comparing this to your rant, is like comparing a New York Times Bestselling novel, to Cat In The Hat (if the cat had a brain injury)

      +6 -4
    • stevenkk March 20, 2017

      @maddog123 I agree with you about the wall , we need to stop all those weapons and billions in cash from keep on going south of our border causing so much misery ,bloodshed and pain to so many millions of mexicans that want their paceful country back

      +1 -4
    • maddog123 March 21, 2017

      Look at all those pluses you get while me and the rest get negs!!!!

      +0 -5
    • maddog123 March 21, 2017

      Was drunk last night I think I wrote something maybe I erased it anyway I was going to take it off oh well fuck it I'm going back to bed I'm hungover a bit

      +0 -4
  • maddog123 March 20, 2017

    I'm going back to bed!!!

    Wake me if one of you fuckers won't to burn one out back behind that damn wall!!!

    +1 -8
    • maddog123 March 21, 2017

      @maddog123 I got the money happy!!!

      +0 -6
  • underpants March 20, 2017

    WTF!? Jesus Christ dude?! Did I just see you in Starbucks sitting in the corner wearing a beret and scarf and on your laptop ???

    +10 -5
    • Cory H. March 20, 2017

      @underpants , No Sir. I had the Homeland Security hat on.

      +4 -5
  • nutball981 March 20, 2017

    STFU man, and post some nasty shit.

    +1 -9
  • smellthis March 20, 2017

    I consider myself to be a nice, good man. That being said, if I read another blog like the one above, I'm going to go out, find anybody and beat the fucking shit out of them!!

    +2 -6
    • Cory H. March 20, 2017

      @smellthis , Now I have incentive for another long, in depth, psycho analysis blog. Thanks for your contribution. Make sure your attorney retainer is paid.

      +3 -4
  • cptnpinkbeard March 20, 2017

    Uhhhhhh did I get on the right site.

    +0 -6
  • istealcars March 20, 2017

    So this is a rather long response to Corey's blog, and considering the reception the blog has received thus far, I can't imagine it will be enjoyed by many here either. Still, I feel like Corey brought up an interesting topic, and while it may clash with the prevailing attitude here, I'm glad he decided to explore it.

    Corey - I appreciate the fact that you're trying to inject some positivity in a place that's frequently very dark.

    I spent the last two days of my life arguing with strangers online because they were doing (in my eyes) really cruel things to other people. I felt compelled to speak up and say something similar to what you said here: that in all likelihood, they were using the Internet (as many do) to lash out at people, because of unresolved issues with themselves - walls, so to speak.

    I say all of that, and I often speak up when I see it, because I once did the same thing. I grew up feeling the need to make fun of other people in an attempt to divert attention away from myself, and raise myself up above those I was mocking.

    It took time, but I eventually realized that by intentionally hurting and mocking others in the same way that people once did to me, I was only perpetuating the cycle - creating more people who were hurt, who would then turn around and hurt more people themselves.

    As far as hurting others online, many will say that it's just the Internet, and therefore not the same as ridiculing and treating someone poorly in real life. I unfortunately have to disagree, as while the Internet appears to get meaner and meaner every year, offline life appears to follow its lead. Kids are growing up with the Internet as a major social outlet, and becoming adults who assume it's normal to trash other people on a daily basis.

    What it all comes down to, in my eyes, is the larger effect on the world and on society as a whole, as I would personally prefer to live in an environment where people were respectful and kind to each other as much as possible; not to be pushovers, but simply working to engage with others from a place of respect, rather than the resentment and scorn which seems to dominate online interactions today. Some may brush it off and act like it's cool to live in a hostile world, but I imagine if they have kids, and consider the world they want their children to inherit, that it doesn't involve the predominant hatred that has seemed to rule the roost lately.

    I can already feel the negatives coming, and I haven't even hit "Submit" yet :-).

    Anyway, Corey, what made you bring the topic up? Do you discuss such things as part of your regular job? And my biggest question: do you feel working for a site like this one keeps you in a darker place than you'd like, and maybe provokes you to compromise your larger beliefs, just by virtue of the fact that it's a site kind of built on the premise of making light of people in horrible situations?

    +5 -3
    • Cory H. March 20, 2017

      @istealcars, Thank you very much for such a well thought reply.

      +3 -3
    • smellthis March 20, 2017

      @istealcars, your a neomaxizoomdweebie! Cory, I take back what I said about yours. I went to college with an Atty. no need for a retainer, he treats me right.

      +1 -4
    • luvthick March 21, 2017

      @istealcars Thanks for sharing. The transition of online interaction into offline interactions is an excellent observation.

      +2 -2
    • kingprawnballs March 23, 2017

      @istealcars I just begged at first sentence sorry to long

      +0 -0
  • kingbigballs March 20, 2017

    Hahahahahahaha

    +0 -7
  • kingbigballs March 20, 2017

    Go to Oprah!

    +0 -7
  • truckingman March 20, 2017

    Cory, I do not know if I could remove some of the mental wall that I have set up to protect my mind from myself.

    __________________, Robert Hallock

    +2 -3
  • ouch March 20, 2017

    I hate people

    +5 -5
    • smellthis March 20, 2017

      @ouch, if you hate people, then people will hate you!

      +2 -3
      • ouch March 21, 2017

        @smellthis agreed. I hate them ones more

        +0 -1
    • treehouse21 March 21, 2017

      @ouch +1

      +0 -3
    • luvthick March 21, 2017

      @ouch I find that hard to believe.

      +1 -2
  • jonny87 March 20, 2017

    ZzZzZz

    +0 -7
    • Cory H. March 20, 2017

      @jonny87, I feel your pain. I have to read all of your posts.

      +3 -4
  • happyjack March 20, 2017

    @CoryH well thought out, expressed / written. It also tells the story of the CS pg. I mean I wasn't expecting a collegiate debate regarding your blog, but come on PG it's ok to say something intelligent from time to time.

    It's like you cast a fishing line expecting to hit some semi deep water and instead it turns out the lake was only a few inches deep and your weight just went thud in the mud.

    +3 -3
    • Cory H. March 20, 2017

      @happyjack, Thank you. Tomorrow is part two, but it won't be anything like the above.

      +2 -3
    • ouch March 20, 2017

      @happyjack what crowd do you expect to find looking for this site? Sure there are some well educated people that come here but that would be the minority of people who post in the pg. The feeling that I get from some of you is that we are to stupid to comment any way so why would one bother? Having said that the walls I have on place are to ensure I am never hurt again! so very few of you here will ever know the real me. My dark side is balanced by my side to help others less fortunate than I. If I didn't help as many people as I have done I would surely be a serial killer. Fuck people!

      +4 -4
      • happyjack March 21, 2017

        @ouch yeah you're right, and I didn't use the word intelligent to try to demean anyone,

        But more than this being an intellectual post, I think it was an emotional one.

        +1 -3
      • jewman March 21, 2017

        @ouch you and I are kind of same on that note. I usually dumb down my comments quite a bit, the majority will understand what it is im trying to say.

        +1 -4
  • jewman March 21, 2017

    One thing tho we only got 1 life to live then does any of this matter at all? When the end comes it won't matter if you were a rich man, a poor man, a pornstar, or/and married 10 wifes.

    +0 -4
    • Cory H. March 21, 2017

      @jewman, Once you're dead, you will be good to go. Won't have to worry about any mental walls holding back your full potential and quality of life. :/ It's most likely something a person would want to consider while he's upright and still taking in large quantities of nitrogen.

      +0 -1
  • maddog123 March 21, 2017

    GOOD NIGHT!!! BE GOOD FOLKS PEACE!!!!!

    +0 -5
 
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