► THE DAILY RANT

January 19, 2018

Rant on, Mofo's

  • wombatbytes January 19, 2018

    Does anyone else feel a bit strange when wanking and your dog is watching?

    +2 -1
    • goff January 19, 2018

      @wombatbytes

      Sometimes, I feel strange when it watches me watch it lick the peanut butter off my balls.

      Sometimes ...

      +3 -2
    • nybadguy January 19, 2018

      @wombatbytes my ex had a small dog and a few times he jumped in the bed while I was knockin them boots and he licked my balls and ass. Dog ended up getting hit by a car and died. He licked the balls of bad luck.

      +2 -0
    • vivalamigra January 19, 2018

      @wombatbytes I take it your dog's name is not "Lucky"?

      +1 -2
      • nybadguy January 19, 2018

        @vivalamigra HAHA. Definitely not bro. Buddy was his name. Tried to be my butt buddy and it got him buried.

        +1 -0
      • wombatbytes January 19, 2018

        @vivalamigra : No, she's called Lefty after a shot of jizz blew out her right eye.

        +1 -1
        • vivalamigra January 20, 2018

          @wombatbytes "Lefty". Just like you right Comrade?

          +1 -1
  • kore January 19, 2018

    Good fucking morning to you all, how the shit are you all??

    +1 -0
  • ouch January 19, 2018

    Has anyone bought into any Cryptocurrency like BITCOIN?

    +3 -2
    • Cory H. January 19, 2018

      @ouch,

      Not I. But, I had an apprentice earlier last year who created a program to scour the web in search of bits of lost data for a couple of companies and he we was paid in bitcoin. His pc's ran 24/7, and he had another program monitoring power consumption so he could tell if he was actually netting a profit.

      +2 -0
    • felterupgood January 19, 2018

      @ouch

      Hell no..... Spent all my money on the essentials like booze and hoes

      +1 -0
      • prolurkercrazy January 19, 2018

        @felterupgood you do a lot of gardening do ya? While drunk?

        +2 -1
        • felterupgood January 19, 2018

          @prolurkercrazy

          Actuall I don't drink. I just don't care for the feeling and hate having a hangover. Also drinking is suicide for your liver. And a good liver is essential.

          I raise a few vegetables and every year i have over 4 tons of sugar cane.

          My lady is into gardening so i just desigbed and built a motor powered trommel to sift and mix her potting soil.

          Yes, I'm a fucking genius

          +1 -1
          • prolurkercrazy January 19, 2018

            @felterupgood,

            Okay, genious who said "Hell no..... Spent all my money on the essentials like booze and hoes"

            I rest my case as to you're mental aptitude.

            +2 -1
            • felterupgood January 19, 2018

              @prolurkercrazy

              Money can't buy you smarts. They aren't interchangeable. So I spent my money.... well not really....that was joke that everyone else got....

              So I spend my money on anything I like. That doesn't make me stupid. A lot of dumb fucks have money... Obama gave it to them.

              +1 -0
              • prolurkercrazy January 19, 2018

                @felterupgood it doesn't matter how you want to spin this. You, Sir, are a dipshit when you claim that you didn't say the quote. We all understand how retarded trump supporters are but to claim that you didn't mean what you just said makes you a genius at the same level as trump.

                +1 -2
                • felterupgood January 19, 2018

                  @prolurkercrazy

                  No one here "means what they say" this is an entertainment site... people tell jokes and make wisecracks. It's sad that you never developed a vein of humor growing up. Maybe you aren't grown up yet.

                  Grown ups don't call other people "dipsits" "retards" "fags" UNLESS they don't have any point to make... anything original, creative or insightful to say.

                  Elevate your language and show some common sense once in a while... at least you will LOOK intelligent.

                  +2 -0
                  • prolurkercrazy January 20, 2018

                    @felterupgood, Keep spinning... You are a dizzy as @Viva

                    +1 -2
          • vikingshill January 20, 2018

            @felterupgood So is Wile E. Coyote...

            +1 -0
    • goff January 19, 2018

      @ouch

      Is that why you're broke?

      +2 -4
      • ouch January 19, 2018

        @goff Ya know I could entertain you with replies or off site emails like we have been doing until I shut that shit down but in this case i can assure you that you are to stupid to comprehend how moronic an internet fight is on CS with someone as unarmed as you are in a battle of wits.

        Kindly fuck off with your trolling and especially the bullshit i have been reading from you lately.

        +2 -0
        • goff January 19, 2018

          @cooch

          Do you need a loan?

          25% after 6 mo.

          Doc. must be signed w/real name.

          Cooch or ouch or dundee not legal.

          +1 -2
        • goff January 19, 2018

          @cooch

          DO NOT EMAIL ME

          DO NOT EMAIL ME

          +1 -1
        • goff January 19, 2018

          @ouch

          On second thought, any sort of business correspondence would take you to my business office which is located inside my home ... and that ain't happenin'. So, exnay on the oanlay. Awww ... there goes your kayak and bird feeder. Derp!

          +2 -2
  • dick steel January 19, 2018

    My right arm broke which was horrible but also a blessing in disguise.

    Now i can wank myself with the left hand too.

    +4 -0
    • GrimmWilder January 19, 2018

      @dick steel

      Congratulations,...ambidextrous wanking is quite the accomplishment!

      +3 -1
      • dick steel January 19, 2018

        @GrimmWilder It's an honor.

        +2 -0
      • ketamine<3 January 19, 2018

        @GrimmWilder it is really, I can't do it. Hats off to you dick steel! Never thought I'd congratulate a man on being able to fap but here we are..

        +1 -0
    • felterupgood January 19, 2018

      @dick steel

      That's easy ... Wiping your ass is the challenge

      +2 -0
      • dick steel January 19, 2018

        @felterupgood My gf's dog does that for me.

        +3 -0
        • felterupgood January 19, 2018

          @dick steel

          That explains your avatar

          +1 -0
    • goff January 19, 2018

      @dick steel

      Well, your arm's not made of steel.

      +2 -2
      • dick steel January 19, 2018

        @goff

        It is now. Two metal rods and some screws and wires.

        Can't wait to jack off with my new terminator arm.

        +2 -1
        • goff January 19, 2018

          @dick steel

          Yeah, I guess you're right. Serious job done on your arm, there. Good luck w/that.

          +1 -1
  • maddog123 January 19, 2018

    Well well its Friday eight thirty in the morning house finally warmed up schlong unthawed from my leg

    Now I'm just waiting for the color to come back and get some feeling back in it !

    +1 -0
  • maddog123 January 19, 2018

    Dammit every time I try to massage my Winnie to try and get color and feeling back in it I keep blowing a fucking wad !? I' hit the cat twice on the head ! The little fucker got in the way! But ? I'm making good progress I will keep you all informed thru the day on my frozen thawing dick massages and government shut down

    +1 -0
  • nybadguy January 19, 2018

    My day off. Have to go down to the car dealer and pick out a new car. My daughter got into a car accident and totaled my wife's car 3 weeks ago. I'm just greatful no one was seriously hurt.

    +2 -0
    • ketamine<3 January 19, 2018

      @nybadguy what are you looking at getting? And I'm glad to hear no one was seriously hurt. Car accidents can ruin any day real quick. Hope you had more than liability though.

      +2 -0
      • nybadguy January 19, 2018

        @ketamine<3 thx bro. Full coverage. Should of gotten gap insurance they only paid $8.000 of the $10.000 we owed on the car. Looking to get something with a 3rd row. Being that I have a big family.

        +2 -0
        • ketamine<3 January 19, 2018

          @nybadguy that's better than nothing good thing you got the full coverage. I am very glad your family is safe. The first car I ever drove was my moms purple minivan lol. Can't get any more gay than that.

          +2 -0
  • maddog123 January 19, 2018

    Dank you berry bunch!!!

    +1 -0
  • maddog123 January 19, 2018

    SHIT STINKS!

    +1 -0
  • GrimmWilder January 19, 2018

    (Slavery)

    is any system in which principles of property law are applied to people, allowing individuals to own, buy and sell other individuals, as a de jure form of property.....

    Today, Right Now,.....there are still more slaves than at any previous point in history,...with an estimated 45 million people being in slavery worldwide.....

    Hmmm,.,.,.

    +3 -2
    • thebutcher18 January 19, 2018

      @GrimmWilder i want one

      +0 -0
    • goff January 19, 2018

      @GrimmWilder

      You mean they're enslaved for all their holes w/heat?

      It sounds like an easier gig than the old slaves of yesteryear ... that I can tell you ... big league.

      +1 -1
  • maddog123 January 19, 2018

    Three o'clock no comments? What's up ? Trump got you working ? Oh well shit still stinks!

    +2 -0
  • Cory H. January 19, 2018

    Man caves gotta be for men that don’t like pussy.

    Why in the fuck would I hang out in my garage with a bunch of dudes when I have a beautiful woman in the house.

    +3 -1
    • felterupgood January 19, 2018

      @Cory H.

      Hummm.... Maybe the dudes have beer and weed..... And don't want to talk about their "feelings" ...or nag you to rotate their tires or go shopping to try on clothes

      +2 -1
    • sarge07 January 19, 2018

      @Cory H. yep

      +2 -0
    • nybadguy January 19, 2018

      @Cory H I have the beautiful woman make me a sandwich do my laundry clen the house go shopping get kids on the bus cook dinner etc...then I head to man cave and drink beer and get high jerk off sniff coke play Xbox etc....

      +1 -1
      • ketamine<3 January 19, 2018

        @nybadguy pretty much lol.

        +1 -0
      • felterupgood January 19, 2018

        @nybadguy

        I wouldn't put that on my resume if I were applying for a better job.

        +2 -0
        • nybadguy January 20, 2018

          @felterupgood definitely not.

          +0 -0
  • GrimmWilder January 19, 2018

    "It is far more just to perish one for all, than many for one"

    *Words of Otho, Emperor of Rome just before he stabbed himself in the heart with a dagger sparing the Empire from civil war.,,.,.,.. 15th of January 69 AD,,..,,.,.

    +2 -1
    • felterupgood January 19, 2018

      @GrimmWilder

      Sadly they didn't have cell phones with cameras

      +0 -0
  • ketamine<3 January 19, 2018

    Fuck it's nice out today! It's 3:50PM in Tucson and 77 degrees out, fucking perfect. I'm gonna drink a beer and play some Xbox. The nice weather kinda makes me want to jump on the bike and ride for a few hours though. The bike it is fuck it!

    +0 -0
    • what now? whats next? January 19, 2018

      @ketamine<3 Gamertag?

      +0 -0
      • ketamine<3 January 19, 2018

        @what now? whats next? On Xbox

        LysergicHedShot

        +0 -0
    • sarge07 January 19, 2018

      @ketamine<3 peaked at 84 at my place today, and as beautiful as it was why the hell stay inside and play games?

      +0 -0
      • ketamine<3 January 19, 2018

        @sarge07 cause I'm sleeping most of the day and up all night. Idk I work graveyards and don't switch my sleep schedule on my days off if I don't have to.

        +0 -0
  • what now? whats next? January 19, 2018

    How must one improve clever thinking

    +1 -0
  • picklehiesner January 19, 2018

    Hi

    +1 -0
  • felterupgood January 19, 2018

    The other day someone told me to hold back some of my life giving medicine. I agreed and said..... If a car load of cheerleaders had a wreck at my mailbox I wouldn't want to be depleted. Then yesterday ... right at my mailbox there was about 60 yards of ...slick as owl shit.... black ice.

    A guy hit it and lost control and flipped over 4 times and landed upside down. I noticed a lot of activity and started to go up there but stopped and thought... I'll just get in their way ...I'm depleted anyway.

    I later heard the dude was bunged up but going to live.

    So, that brings us to today. I got my Kubota tractor out and got a scoop of sand and got my lady friend to flag traffic .... then I spread it on the ice by shovel.. good workout. It's still wet and will freeze tonight but hopefully it will make it safer.

    There's more.... So my lady friend from Vermont is flagging traffic and has a red road cone at the edge of the road. But she got pissed because the white people wouldn't slow down or stop... they just blew on by.

    So I tried to console her and said... they probably just thought you needed a jump and didn't have time.

    She replied.... yeah but do they really think I carry that "big ass road cone" with me all the time?

    +2 -0
  • truckingman January 19, 2018

    I have some advise for all of the CrazyShit members, staff, and visitors if you have a out door or exposed water filter system, you should cover your system to protec it from freezing during cold snaps. I had to replace the water filter housing for the water filter my father had installed, when my family was building our chicken pen, on my family's chicken pen watering system. The night before, January eighty two thousand eighteen, the North Florida area was hit with a cold front dropping the night time temperature to twenty two degrees Fahrenheit freezing the water sitting in my family's chicken watering system filter housing as the pressure from the growing ice busted off the bottom of the said filter's housing. Yesterday I found the water, at low pressure for the chicken waters, run on the ground through the bottom of the said water filter housing and the water filter lying on the ground under the running water. I start the process the fix the chicken's watering system by replacing the broken water housing with a new, used, water filter house. I was almost finished with the replacement job; however, I had broken a threaded fitting, PVC, inside a brass ball valve, at the end of the threads and start of the nut/sleeve part of the fitting. I did not have any tools at the time to extract the broken end of a, PVP, threaded fitting. Also, it started to get late in the even, so I had stop working on the replacement job for the evening. Today I carefully cut the said broken end to extract it out of the brass ball valve. After extracting the said broken end, I install a new threaded fitting into the brass ball valve, cut off the broken fitting, and glued the new fitting onto the pipe. I waited a half hour to a hour, helping my mother and sister to clean sum of the items that where taken out of the shed that had the final half of its' roof replaced, to restore the water to my family's chicken watering system. I had to replace the filter housing my family's chicken watering system because of a cold snap freezing the water in the water filter housing. The ice's pressure busted the bottom of the water filter housing causing the water filter and water to hit the ground.

    Sincerely, Robert Hallock

    the truckingman.

    +3 -0
    • felterupgood January 19, 2018

      @truckingman

      That sucks

      +1 -0
    • ouch January 19, 2018

      @truckingman Burkerk

      +1 -1
      • maddog123 January 19, 2018

        Us government shuts down in exactly one hour and ten minutes !

        Ask me if I give a fuck!

        +1 -0
        • what now? whats next? January 19, 2018

          @maddog123 Does this mean no W2

          +1 -0
          • maddog123 January 20, 2018

            @what now? whats next?

            It means I can go metal detecting on civil war battle fields with less chance of getting caught because of layer off rangers !

            And the ones that are stil having to work without pay will not give a shit just like back in 2013 when they closed up shop !

            +1 -0
          • maddog123 January 20, 2018

            @what now? whats next?

            The news said that IRS will shut down that means no refunds for now!

            Employer will still send w2 but you want be getting any money from uncle Jew till he gets his shit straight we might be in for the long haul this time boys !!!!!!!!!!

            +1 -0
            • what now? whats next? January 20, 2018

              @maddog123 LOL Uncle jew will not dew for yew

              +1 -0
            • felterupgood January 20, 2018

              @maddog123

              Maybe that's the plan for funding the wall... don't give back the rebates. That's 125 Billion the gov could use on securing the boarders and coast lines and airways.

              +0 -0
        • goff January 19, 2018

          @maddog123

          The bottom of the barrel of the gov. closes down like the janitors and the maids who sweep up the hallways and mop the floors like Mike the Cooch.

          +1 -1
  • Cory H. January 20, 2018

    “Poor is the man who does not know his own intrinsic worth and tends to measure everything by relative value. A man of financial wealth who values himself by his financial net worth is poorer than a poor man who values himself by his intrinsic self worth.”

    Sydney Madwed

    +2 -1
    • maddog123 January 20, 2018

      @Cory H. I'm happy just to be able to pay for my internet and still have a penny left in my pocket just in case the old fuse box blows a fuse!

      Poor and proud

      +1 -0
    • felterupgood January 20, 2018

      @Cory H.

      I'm happy that my "intrinsic self worth" meter grades on a curve.

      +0 -0
  • maddog123 January 20, 2018

    The people need to take notice of these clowns we have elected in Washington both democrats and republicans and vote there asses out of office !!!

    Its a shame at how a bunch of grown men and women well educated still behave like children!!!

    Let's vote new ones in and if they act stupid vote them out it would really send a message that the people

    Do care and are tired of the bull shit!!!

    +1 -0
  • maddog123 January 20, 2018

    Now on a lighter note?

    Fucking shit still fucking stinks my balls have stopped itching for now my pecker finally thawed out and its pink again my cats got a bath and I'm horny but no money for a whore and my old lady cut me off and I'm having some issues with my hand I don't seem to have that kung fu grip any more I guess its fucking old age catching up

    +0 -0
    • felterupgood January 20, 2018

      @maddog123

      Your grip hasn't changed.... your dick just doesn't have any resistance anymore.

      +0 -0
  • kingbigballs January 20, 2018

    Anything to be done with the other stuff is just like your going on the wrong side and then your talking back at all the times before they were made of a good idea

    +0 -1
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