► I'M A MEXICAN RAPIST

Trump was right! They need to build a wall, at least around my fridge because I raped it today. For breakfast I had a plate of fajitas then two pancakes with a couple of sunny side eggs on top which was just for breakfast and pretty much stuffed my face all day long. I won't mention everything I ate since PETA would be after me like El Chapo on anyone who owed him money. On another note, I thought today was Saturday and wasn't supposed to work. This is what happens when I'm sober!