THERE'S 2 WAYS TO HANDLE A SUICIDE JUMPER

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crazyshit
45,701 Views 7 months ago
  • letmefindout December 14, 2017

    The only way to deal with a suicide jumper involves a great big spatula.

    +7 -3
    •   big_daddy305 December 14, 2017

      @letmefindout And maybe an extra nudge.

      +4 -0
    • joe_head71 December 14, 2017

      @letmefindout and let me add a great big mop.

      +3 -0
    • bigsmokey86 December 14, 2017

      @letmefindout Plus a few gallons of Coca Cola to deal with the blood spill.

      +1 -0
  • fuck you December 14, 2017

    Dumb ass got kilt!

    +3 -0
    • kore December 14, 2017

      @fuck you He should have took his shirt and pants off and laid them there for her to land on. I'm pretty sure that would have worked.... (- ) (- ) ( -) ( -) (- ) (- ) ( -) ( -)

      +3 -1
  • carlspackler December 14, 2017

    You always get two for one in China.

    +6 -0
  •   maddog123 December 14, 2017

    I tried that once with an air plane onece I'm glad I was a bad out fielder

    +3 -0
  •   GrimmWilder December 14, 2017

    HERE!.... Catch this cinderblock motherfucker!

    the ex-wife is tied to it!!

    +5 -1
  • yidarmy1101 December 14, 2017

    I got it ... I got it ....., I don’t got it

    +3 -0
  •   maddog123 December 14, 2017

    Years ago in a mill I and please excuse my fucking French! I was uh working at whew! The electric motor that ran the over head conveyer belt burned out so these dumb asses come over to replace it thing must have weighed two hundred pounds it was dead steel weight! There were three of them I do believe there names were Larry moe and curly any way more was under the belt yelling orders and the other two about twenty feet up anyway they get the motor unbolted and more yells what are you fucking idiots doing??? And Larry and curly says we are going to slide motor back down balt and get it off of here!?

    I started to laugh and told the dumb asses get a fucking hysteria but more tells me to fuck off and says just push it off I will catch it that ways it won't crack the floor and it will be faster getting it down ! So

    They pushed it off and long story not so short more trys to catch it and yes he does reach up and he does catch it but it knocked out all his front teeth broke his jaw and crushed his chest ! Dumbass !

    After that more didn't have to work any more but not because he got disabled no he sued and got a bundle !!!

    The end and kiss my ass if this comment was to long like my dick used to be before I got the VD!!!!!!

    +4 -1
    • srv December 14, 2017

      @maddog123

      Man, you don't have a bunch of Simpletons here. Fuck no!

      From the word 'Years' to the acronym 'VD', it was read with no problem by all of us. Though, I personally did have to pause for a moment to make sure that the idiot was named More ... Am I right about that?

      Let me ask you ... that is, if you don't mind, because I do not want to pry if it's not cool.

      A certain VD shrunk your dick? Or it took a chunk off at the tip? Or were you just playing?

      +1 -0
      •   maddog123 December 14, 2017

        @srv my story's/fucked up life ain't no bull shit! I'm from the south that should tell you there I'm not bull shiting ain't none of us red neck good old boys wound right yeah boy

        +1 -0
    •   happyjack December 14, 2017

      @maddog123 LMFAO

      The Three Stooges and the Little Rascals were some of my favorite tv when I was a kid.....

      +2 -3
  • maxm60 December 14, 2017

    The old guy had a look on his face that read "and that fucker owed me $50."

    +2 -0
  • deadpen December 14, 2017

    You would think ol' slant eye could have done the math on that one and realized she was coming in too hot.

    +2 -0
  • joe_head71 December 14, 2017

    hilarious dumb fuck haha!

    +3 -0
  • airsporter December 14, 2017

    Commendable intentions dont improve your Credit Rating!

    +2 -0
  • hiwudjablome December 14, 2017

    Yup that was a bad idea

    +3 -0
  •   ketamine<3 December 14, 2017

    HAHAHAHA that dumbass thought they were gonna catch that person!?? Fucking stupid Fuck.

    +2 -0
  • mad jock December 14, 2017

    That last on was a charlie chaplin movie lol

    +3 -0
  • astrozorro December 14, 2017

    Animaniac’s GIBI? Fucking awesome!

    +1 -0
  • dry terd December 14, 2017

    I got it ......I got it........I got it.........splat!!!!

    +1 -0
  • srv December 14, 2017

    How It Should Have Went Down

    Humble Mr. Li, just retired at 43, was happy and quite content.

    He was strolling along, until he happened to come upon, a disturbing, high-rise chance event.

    Looking high through the haze, a woman whose eyes are crazed and is falling straight towards him.

    Mr. Li looked on and watched as she splatted, then quickly pulled down his pants and started to fuck it.

    I'm tired ... it sucks ... fuck it.

    +1 -0
  • thelegend27 December 14, 2017

    best idea involves popcorn and a camera (filming horizontally) for your cs bros

    +2 -0
  •   truckingman December 14, 2017

    I hate to be, unassumingly, under a suicide jumper traveling at terminal velocity.

    +1 -0
  • deadpen December 14, 2017

    Thanks to the FCC we might not have to worry about seeing things like this anymore. I know comcast isn't going to allow anything they don't have investments or funding in to have any bandwidth.

    +0 -0
  • hairry-mcballstein December 15, 2017

    Captain Save a hoe got fucked up son

    +0 -0
  • akbar_snackbar December 16, 2017

    Definitely a good idea to catch a suicidal jumper :)

    +0 -0
  • quazzi76 February 10, 2018

    2 for 1....not bad....bulls eye

    +0 -0
  • fantasyfox666 March 13, 2018

    well shit... maybe they should handle it by putting something deadly below them, so there is more blood.. lol sorry

    +0 -0
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