2 MACHETE VICTIMS THAT DEFIED PHYSICS TO SURVIVE

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crazyshit
82,701 Views 4 months ago
  • nebula July 12, 2018

    I almost don't wanna survive for them.

    Thank god I didn't take up machete juggling.

    +4 -1
    •   lafind July 12, 2018

      @nebula Well you can't say that they didn't want the cut.

      +2 -0
    •   wallawilly July 12, 2018

      @nebula

      How about ban-hammer receiving? srv alot? Lol!

      +0 -2
    • shitdown July 13, 2018

      @nebula

      the second guy is having a problem on a good position in dying.. well, keep trying bro...

      +1 -0
  •   oathbreaker July 12, 2018

    They wish they never got whacked with a machete in the first place, too.

    +1 -0
    • letmefindout July 12, 2018

      @oathbreaker

      Isn't it just easier to move to another part of the country?

      +5 -0
      •   oathbreaker July 12, 2018

        @letmefindout Like the part OUTSIDE of it?

        +5 -0
  • 72jayd July 12, 2018

    I bet he can turn his head all the way around.

    +1 -0
  • pickdickle July 12, 2018

    He looks like a Pez Dispenser

    +3 -0
    •   mr_krabs July 12, 2018

      @pickdickle

      Or a bobble head for the dashboard.

      +0 -0
      • pickdickle July 13, 2018

        @mr_krabs if it bobbled too far it may fall off

        +0 -0
        • shitdown July 13, 2018

          @pickdickle

          i can see a cave at the back f his neck...

          +0 -0
  •   burfurger July 12, 2018

    Guess the machete buy back program isn't working out so well.

    +2 -0
    • the kid July 12, 2018

      @burfurger Johnny Carson approves this joke... lol..

      +1 -0
  •   luvthick July 12, 2018

    "All right boys, let's piece this story together!"

    +5 -0
    • xxxmass July 12, 2018

      @luvthick -ithink guy #1 was minding his own and guy #2 wasn't having none of it. So he pulled his machete out and said fck you., guy #1 was prepared too, he had the New Jack Swing Comin at him. The rest is the directors cut.

      +1 -0
    • the kid July 12, 2018

      @luvthick Frank Drebin... police squad.. lol..

      +1 -0
  •   ketamine<3 July 12, 2018

    Just throw them over the border into the US, that way they get free healthcare.

    +3 -0
    •   oathbreaker July 12, 2018

      @ketamine<3 It fuckin sucks, but it's true...godammit.

      +1 -0
      •   ketamine<3 July 12, 2018

        @oathbreaker i live in Arizona. I know..

        +1 -0
        •   oathbreaker July 12, 2018

          @ketamine<3 May I suggest you try using a solid, dense structure, capable of impeding movement through it?

          +1 -0
          •   sarge07 July 12, 2018

            @oathbreaker

            The problem is the liberal douchebags granting amnesty in Tucson and Pima County. All should be arrested for aiding and abetting criminal activity.

            +0 -0
          •   ketamine<3 July 12, 2018

            @oathbreaker not my call man. If it was things would be very different.

            +0 -0
  •   ketamine<3 July 12, 2018

    I want to see the video of when they heal up and retaliate.. that should be good.

    +0 -0
  • airsporter July 12, 2018

    Going to need a team of cobblers to stitch stitch stitch throughout the night.

    +0 -0
  • letmefindout July 12, 2018

    Every time I see these victims I want to send them $.69 a month as though they were/are an abused pet.

    +2 -0
    •   oathbreaker July 12, 2018

      @letmefindout It doesn't go to them...By time the money works it's way through all the bureaucratic bullshit to the people, it's usually gone. Or very, very little. Just send yer "hopes and prayers"! Way cheaper, too!

      +1 -0
    • rouge_et_blanc July 12, 2018

      @letmefindout oink

      +0 -0
  • rouge_et_blanc July 12, 2018

    mere scratches that a few stitches cannot solve

    +0 -0
  • xenomorph July 12, 2018

    The first guy got mauled by tigers in their enclosure, I saw this just the other day.

    +0 -0
    •   ketamine<3 July 12, 2018

      @xenomorph source please?

      +0 -0
      • xenomorph July 12, 2018

        @ketamine<3 I am looking for it, not sure if it was youtube or facebook, will post if I find it again.

        +1 -0
  • adipocere July 12, 2018

    What kind of noob was operating the machetes?

    +0 -0
  •   HJ247 July 12, 2018

    Hassan chop!

    +0 -0
    • xenomorph July 12, 2018

      @iwantagoodhj247 The old Buggs Bunny loony tunes right?

      +0 -0
  • the kid July 12, 2018

    For a splitting headache just take two aspirin..

    +0 -0
  • chained cat July 12, 2018

    FFS come on boys, hold it together!

    +0 -0
  • stabbert July 12, 2018

    Danny Trejo is a busy motherfucker..

    +2 -0
    • frank n. stein July 13, 2018

      @stabbert

      HA! [See my reply to rugga below.]

      +1 -0
      • stabbert July 13, 2018

        @frank n. stein Dude is fucking Bad ass, what can I say..... (pun intended). =p

        +0 -0
  • keysersoze9515 July 12, 2018

    I wonder if they made the final cuts?

    +0 -0
    • stabbert July 13, 2018

      @keysersoze9515 Pretty sure most of him ended up on the cutting room floor.

      +0 -0
  • mr.spine July 12, 2018

    I have a machete from Brasil it works great.

    +1 -0
    • calethehuman July 12, 2018

      @mr.spine I have a broom that says "made in brasil" damn thing keeps trying to cut my foot off.

      +0 -0
      • mr.spine July 13, 2018

        @calethehuman wear flip flops so it knows you're not a threat

        +1 -0
  • mrpericles July 12, 2018

    HUY ; SANALEJO ALEJALO.

    +0 -0
  • nipplepinchgenocide July 12, 2018

    put on Jerry Goldsmith-Total Recall theme in the background for a more cinematic effect while watching this shit

    +0 -0
  • frank n. stein July 12, 2018

    Not sure I would WANT to live after that

    +0 -0
  • kojaksbozak July 12, 2018

    Im bettin niether lived ... Wounds like that in a shit hole country gotta get mad infections... Staphylococcus for everyone!!!

    +1 -0
  • peaks July 12, 2018

    Now that HAS to sting!

    +0 -0
  • rileydevil July 12, 2018

    That last guy won't survive much longer with all that blood loss.

    +1 -0
  •   pizzapie July 12, 2018

    That's machitty. The second guy died trying to look cool

    +1 -0
  • canlib July 12, 2018

    Not going to be defying it for much longer, the grim reaper had it's way with both of them.

    +1 -0
  • gandog56 July 13, 2018

    These vids just cut me up.

    +0 -0
  • rugga July 13, 2018

    spics love machetes

    +0 -0
    • frank n. stein July 13, 2018

      @rugga

      And spics love MACHETE.....starring Danny Trejo

      +0 -0
  • victor vaughn dumb July 13, 2018

    When is it allowable to "put them out of their misery"?

    +0 -0
  • paintman55 July 14, 2018

    Not For Long!,,,

    +0 -0
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