HOW A REAL MAN CELEBRATES HIS 40TH BIRTHDAY

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crazyshit
98,901 Views 3 months ago
  • aquahollic July 27, 2018

    happy birthday here's some herpes for your face

    +20 -2
    • working4theweekend July 27, 2018

      @aquahollic he’s Mexican so who cares

      +4 -1
      • joedumber July 27, 2018

        yeah staying miserable and funless is healthier

        +1 -0
      • misteram July 28, 2018

        @working4theweekend Maybe HERPES but still a FUCKING BOSS!!!

        +0 -0
    • alohasnackbar July 29, 2018

      @aquahollic with a side order of pink eye.

      +0 -0
    • shitdown August 6, 2018

      @aquahollic

      i'm looking forward for him getting butchered after the mexican birthday song..

      +0 -0
  • princeoflots July 27, 2018

    Yummy!

    +1 -0
  •   ouch July 27, 2018

    No thanks I'm on a diet

    +4 -1
  •   lafind July 27, 2018

    I twat a sandwich.

    +1 -1
    •   sarge07 July 27, 2018

      @lafind

      looked more like a ass sammitch

      +0 -0
      •   lafind July 28, 2018

        @sarge07 Well you gotta admit it's close.

        +0 -0
  •   wallawilly July 27, 2018

    Fish cream, gotta love it!

    +3 -1
  • disemboweled July 27, 2018

    Fire in the hole!

    +2 -0
  • letmefindout July 27, 2018

    And here I thought that they were just going to fart 40 times.

    +5 -0
  •   fistermister July 27, 2018

    Lucky guy... I got left at the bar for my 40th.

    +8 -0
    •   lafind July 27, 2018

      @fistermister hahahha, with the bill!

      +3 -0
      •   fistermister July 27, 2018

        @lafind

        Yep, and the lost idea, I was gonna get some....

        +1 -0
  • pickdickle July 27, 2018

    Lucky they didn't fart, could have devastating

    +3 -0
  •   ketamine<3 July 27, 2018

    No, a real man celebrates his birthday by not doing anything. Cause another year brings more problems and more money out of his pocket. Hiring whores to rub their nasty ass in your face is disgusting. I dont celebrate birthdays isnt it obvious?

    +1 -0
    •   luvthick July 27, 2018

      @ketamine<3

      Don't worry dude, I'll get three shinny ho's to do the same for you on your Birthday... Fuck him, he could only get two. I'm going to get a Black a White & whatever is in Ouch's basement for you. It will be a surprise for all who attend...

      ;-)

      +4 -1
      •   ketamine<3 July 27, 2018

        @luvthick haha I'd enjoy it I'm sure, I really don't celebrate birthdays. But if your buying and I'll get a mix of chocolate, vanilla, and whatever Ouch has, let's do it! Unless ouch show up with a strap on.. your a good guy to know ;)

        +3 -0
      •   fistermister July 27, 2018

        @luvthick

        I'll be there!

        +2 -0
  •   luvthick July 27, 2018

    Ebony & Ivory Cream Cakes bringing such joy together, makes me shed a tear of joy.

    +3 -1
  •   burfurger July 27, 2018

    They do the same thing at The Olive Garden to draw back customers. Only you get unlimited breadsticks n soup.

    +2 -0
    • working4theweekend July 27, 2018

      @burfurger breadsticks and salad lol

      +1 -0
    • fiddledeedee July 28, 2018

      @burfurger

      Yeah, but you have to stuff the breadsticks up your ass. At least, that's what the waitress informed me.

      +0 -0
  • frank n. stein July 27, 2018

    Okay. Pass.

    +1 -0
    •   burfurger July 27, 2018

      @frank n. stein

      For the love of eyesight, PLEASE CHANGE YOUR AVATAR!

      +3 -0
      • secret squirrel July 27, 2018

        @burfurger

        Just missing some bits of toilet paper up in there...

        +1 -0
        •   burfurger July 27, 2018

          @secret squirrel

          Ewwwww.... thanks for making it even worse.

          +1 -0
  • hellzyeah July 27, 2018

    Hes getting literally shit faced with a lot of pomp and circumstance.

    +1 -0
  •   pizzapie July 27, 2018

    Shit flavored whip cream, my favorite

    +0 -0
  •   freddykrueger July 27, 2018

    ...the following fuckery is brought to you by … ♪ brown people ♫

    +5 -0
  • airsporter July 27, 2018

    Fuck!

    A Boss....If thats only his 40th just imagine the Funeral.

    +2 -0
  • prodigyf9 July 27, 2018

    Imagine that being a real candle.

    +1 -0
  •   nybadguy July 27, 2018

    Wait. He never made a wish.

    +2 -0
  • secret squirrel July 27, 2018

    When you least want a surprise cock n balls.

    +0 -0
  • me68 July 27, 2018

    thats just a teaser from the new cartel torture video, you wait till you see the rest ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    +0 -0
  • fiddledeedee July 28, 2018

    On my birthday, no one could afford fireworks. So my friends fed two girls 15 burritos each then lit their farts on fire. Under the explosive fart pressure, the girls actually flew out the window like bottle rockets. I still have fart-burns on my face when they blazed by. Luckily, the quick-thinking girls were able keep it festive, and managed to to zig-zag in mid air, spelling a flaming "Happy Birthday" before landing in a swimming pool, dousing their torch-like tushies.

    It was all covered on MSNBC some years back.

    +3 -1
  • fatlarry July 28, 2018

    I need to win the lottery

    +0 -0
  • bbc4urplasha July 29, 2018

    Soo cooool :D

    +0 -0
  • jackhermiz August 5, 2018

    Happy birthday

    +0 -0
  • heaven_x_hell August 7, 2018

    Good luck on treating those diseases for life

    +0 -0
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